Monday, 3 March 2014


Children of the same parents - same father, same mother as we say, raised in the same household, with the same values, attended the same schools, given the same opportunities, probably shared each others stuff.....

They should grow up to be friends    ABI?

That has always been my assumption, but lately I've found out that sometimes ones siblings can be the worst traitors.

Photo source:

I have witnessed a relationship between two sisters - both married with children, turn sour to the point that they both got physical not minding that one was older than the other. The sourness of their relationship has even rubbed off on their children as both families are now estranged.

Another friend narrated that, inspite of her best efforts to be loving towards her siblings, after the death of their parents, two of them have consistently taken her for granted, abused her and her husband, and even sided with members of their extended families against her especially on issues pertaining to their parent's estate.

Members of one family I know are currently in court contesting the execution of their late father's will. These are grown men and women and as I was told they are all not on speaking terms with each other.



 In my opinion, it is important to first recognize and accept that ones siblings are separate individuals with different personalities from ones self. Their behaviour would be different as well. It is those diversity that add strength and flavour to the relationship.

It is also important not to expect that you'll always be friends. One should accept that there maybe seasons of conflict due to difference of opinion, but at these times effort should be made to quickly mend fences to restore the harmony once enjoyed.

Space is also another important factor in family relationships. Because of our culture which places a lot of importance on the family, we sometimes don't give room for individuals in the family to be themselves. Its important that we do not behave as if we are joined at the hip to our family members.

Sometime we need to give people the freedom to choose whether or not they want to remain in the relationship. People grow, people change, holding on to someone who doesn't want to be with you is not in ones best interest. There are stories of people who have been seriously harmed by their siblings and my thoughts on that is that they either failed to recognize the enemy within or held on too long when they ought to have let go.

Its is always a good thing for family members to be at peace with each other. I saw in one of the dailies, a picture of The Chief Judge of Lagos State and her sister- who also is a judge, at the wedding of The CJ's son. Both women wore the same attire attesting to their closeness.

I wish us all a happy family life.



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