THE RULES OF ENGAGEMENT.... AND DISENGAGEMENT!!!

Some of the things I read in the news just glides off my mind. I tend to take them as stuff that happen to other people, until someone close to me shares a similar experience.

About a month ago, I read in the papers, a sad story of a successful business woman who was brutally murdered in her home by her young boyfriend, who then ran off with her money and other belongings. The story was so moving that I began to wonder at the price some women pay for love and acceptance.

Recently, an 'aburo' of mine informed me that she had broken up with her boyfriend, after three years of courtship. I was perplexed by the news as this my 'aburo' aint no spring chicken - hope you catch my drift. I wanted to know why they broke up but she didn't want to talk about it so I let the matter rest.

Then just last week, 'katakata' burst - stuff for another post, I promise. She then opened up about the cause of their break up. It turns out that he had attempted to kill her!!! See me see 'gbege'.

She had gone to his place on a weekend visit and in the night, they had a small argument and he pulled a knife on her telling her he would kill her. He did try to stab her, but her James Bond move helped her dodge the knife. She later managed to escape with knife wounds and bruises from repeated punches and beatings with a pestle.
Na wa o!!!
There are some really desperate guys out there o so ladies beware!!! Yahoo plus no do them again o. They feed off women and they have no qualms about killing.

The way I feel right now, I won't advice anyone to get involved with a guy - but that's an advise I'm sure won't be heeded, so for all those who are single and seriously searching (SSS),here are my Rules of Engagement o.

Now these rules are in no particular order.

• Make sure you know A LOT about his background. I mean A LOT!!! Where he grew up in , the nursery school he attended, the name of his pet tortoise, who his first girl crush was, the address of his family house in the village, his great grand father's next door neighbour's first name - long tin' abi? But seriously, any guy with honest intentions shouldn't be afraid to divulge personal information about himself to his girlfriend.

• Make sure you know his people. This one can be a bit tough, especially if your relationship is still in the neonatal stage. But you won't be a woman if you can't find a sneaky way of getting him to introduce you to at least one member of his family - mother, father, sister, brother, family head in Lagos, somebody related to him sha, so that if need be police will have someone to arrest. Mind you, some guys will tell you that all his family members are witches and he has disassociated himself from them all - 'na only me waka come', abeg ditch the loser FAST!!! He must be up to something.

• Don't get legal before you're legal o!!! Don't do joint anything without a lawyer. I mean no joint businesses, accounts etc. Don't allow his friends and relatives to call you his wife. If 'wife' is hungrying them let them go and pay your bride price.

• Don't compromise your values for him. If you find yourself lying or doing things you'd normally condemn others for, e don dey control you be dat. Please flee at this point, these guys pick their preys well o.They know how to play mind games on a girl and get her to a point where she can't easily leave them.

• If he tells you he is a born again christian, be very wary. Honestly this is very sad for me to write, but I won't be a friend if I didn't add it. If he is a christian, then you need to invite yourself to his church one Sunday to see for yourself o. Who is his pastor? Do they know him there? In which unit does he serve? Who is/are the head(s) of the unit? How is he remembered? - As that bother who embezzled youth picnic funds? or that rude usher? or that brother who impregnated the choir master's daughter? Abeg, 'I'm born again' isn't enough these days o, he must be God fearing - quaking in his boots at the mention of God!!!

• If he has multiple IDs in different names....... Hmmn!!! I sure you don't need me to tell you that those I.D.s are for making a quick escape out of a sticky situation and only criminals plan that far ahead. He is up to something o.

• If he is very manipulative then what are you waiting for? Ditch him now!!! Manipulative guys are easily angered and fly into a rage at the slightest provocation, some sulk and keep malice for weeks on end, some even cry and beg you. Basically, they'd do anything to get you to do anything they want. The rule of thumb is: 'if what he is suggesting doesn't agree with you, then don't do it'. If he likes let him break up with you, na who dey alive dey shout Halleluyah o!!!

That's as much as I can think of right now o but if you do decide to get out of a bad relationship, I have just one Rule of Disengagement and it is:

 “What you must do,” said Jesus, “do. Do it and get it over with.”

 - John 13:27(The Message Bible).

So there you have it girls, you can't say Aunty Mo didn't tell you o!!!

AUNTY MO.